today i found a very resourceful site.
in case i'm ever homeless... i know where to turn. this dude was a great help in my job hunt and an inspiration.

being unemployed is an emotional roller coaster. one day you're full of hope and promise and total resolve to pull yourself up by the bootstraps... the next day, you're totall depressed and hopeless.

maybe that's just me.
i'm not used to not working.
my adventures to cali have taught me so much about myself.
being unemployed teaches you quite a bit.
mostly it teaches you how to go without.
it also forces you to find cheaper ways of doing everything...
ie. i'm at the library using the free internet.
ie. do you know how long a bag of tater tots lasts?
for $3.49 you can eat for DAYS.

it's oddly demoralizing...

today. i'm not completely without hope.
that website listed lots of good leads and that cat sent me an underground
list of job openings in my field.
today, i'm grateful.
i'm going to spend the weekend teaching myself how to crochet
and writing cover letters for the 24 jobs i'm applying to on monday.
i'm walking into this library fully prepared next week.
i'm also going to see if any of the local boutiques near my apt are hiring.
i think i could do retail again so long as it's not at a large chain.
i don't want anyone there to expect anything from me.
basically, i want to show up, do my job
and not have to think about putting in extra effort.

on the bright side of life...
everyone i know seems to be thriving.
my line sisters have all found work and some are also finishing grad programs.
my friends are all working in professions the *want* to be in.
most everyone is happily coupled up
some of them are getting chances to travel.
neeki is actually going to school in LONDON for her PhD
and gene is dating!

it's weird how you can witness the happiness around other people and
simply... feel good.
just this beautiful warm feeling of promise.
especially after watching and being with those who have suffered.
it makes me incredibly happy to see dreams come to fruition
after so much struggle.

don't fret.




hope
springs
eternal