today is the day.
my last one at the company.
it's been a fun 11 weeks but now i have to say goodbye.

what now? i'm unemployed.

to make matters worse, my cell was turned off...
AGAIN... just now.
i'm going to pay it in full this weekend.
i negotiated a fair percentage with the accountant here for work calls.
it's not enough to pay the bill entirely....
but it's enough to help cut it in half tomorrow.

truthfully, the overages are mostly my fault.
i talked to sherms for over 3000 minutes last month....
what kind of craziness is that?
granted, most of them fell under the free nights and weekends
but all u need is 2 two-hour phone calls during peak hours and your minutes are DONE.
thankfully, i won't be on my cell like that anymore.

if i'm extremely lucky,
no potential employers will try contacting me this evening.
i'm going to drive by the sprint store to check the hours.
i need to be there when they open the doors.
it will take another 2 hours to turn my joint on.

i live for the day when my bills are not a problem.
for serious, one day ya'll- i'm going to be totally out of debt.
not even a student loan over my head.

it's coming.

soon.

i can feel it.

what else?

the man cooked last night.
bbq tofu, coconut rice and fried platanos.
it was banging.

i want to hit hte beach this weekend.
i'm hoping for a 100 degree day.
if it's 100 near us, it will only be 80 at the beach
for some reason, it's never been very hot when i go.
hopefully, i can get some knee and elbow pads
and put my rollerblades on.

i'm *terrified* of falling
what ever happened to the fearlessness i had as a kid?
i didn't wait to be taught to ride a bike.
my friend monique was the first person with one and i hopped on when it was my turn.
i didn't even *consider* falling.
now it's all i can think about when those blades are on my feet.

also, i'm taking him up to my sister's place to meet the fam and babysit with me.
i think they'll all get along well.
rai talked to him qite a bit over the phone.
we'll be babysitting too so she and ken can go out together.

a movie or 2 is on my priority list this weekend.
i must be the only person in the country who hasn't seen spiderman2
and harry potter? i've been waiting to see it for so long...
i'm even considering going up to rai's place early to hit the $1.50 theater.
nothing like a cheap movie.
the only movie i'd pay full price for right now is riding giants.
tim tells me it's excellent.

you excercise maniacs out there will be glad to know...
i'm working out.
not maniacally like you folks...
but just getting some shit done.
i decided (in my head at least)
after i weigh myself this weekend
not to get on again until my birthday in december.
i'm not as obsessed with my actual weight
as i am with my waistline.
in the three weeks since i initially bought the tape measure,
i've lost 2 inches.
last night, i measured my thighs too.
the goal: totally flat stomach & smaller thighs.
after that, the goals will be more muscle defined....
next time i'm in new york, imma have at the very least,
the beginnings of a six-pack.
the strangest thing about excercise?
i don't really mind it... once i'm started.
usually, i have the hardest time just getting out of the house.
i'm working on it though.
for serious.
i want to find the same commitment i had when i ws in college.
every day i reminded myself i had to go to the gym
b/c i was entering corporate america where looks mattered.
i lost 35 lbs telling myself that.

now when i work out, i talk to my thighs.
i'm rather verbally abusive towards them.
i've made them the enemy.
not just b/c they're large.... but b/c they get lazy.
when i started doign the hollywood hills, the'd always complain.
so now i focus on walking faster up the hills and telling the legs to shut up
after about an hour upwards, they do.
then it stops hurting...
then i'm in this really peaceful place.
where i'm not thinking about anything at all...
then i leave that place when the city comes into view.
at night, it lights up below the hills
and from above, this get this amazing feeling
i'm going to run this place one day.