intuition

is strong. i've been having feelings about my life that i'm afraid of vocalizing. they've been on my mind heavily and i feel like my instincts are right. it's like i'm about to enter a huge transitional phase in my life. one that will alter it more than any of my previous changes and adventures..... even if i sit still- it will come and engulf me. i don't have to run to it. everything in me says it's coming... i suppose the most obvious sign has been my deep feelings of wanderlust. i keep listening to this track from the ecleftic called "runaway." it features john forte and earth wind and fire. a dope track... really- wyclef is a seriously underrated musician. speaking of fugees members... if you haven't heard it yet- you MUST check for the latest John Legend remix of "so high" featuring lauryn hill. um... i haven't even critically listened to the song yet. i'm just so happy to hear her making non-crazy/depressing music again. FUCK that unplugged shit (i see you stacia). also on the playlist is "free" and "one is the magic #" from jill scott's live album.

some nights i have dreams about exploring the world alone. learning new languages. making new communities and familes. climbing the andes mountains or trees in the amazon. visiting the shores of ghana and learning how to weave and make fabric. in short... i feel like running away. the conflict is- i have obligations. i've committed to working on this production company with my homeboy from college. i can't throw my all into it right now b/c my soul becons from across the ocean. does that make sense? my urge to run is really strong right now. i feel like i'm almost self sabotaging myself so i can just go. i don't even want to tell anyone where i am other than a cryptic e-mail that i've left the country and i'm safe.... yeah um.

i'm trying to come down fromt his feeling... but i think it's happening b/c i've supressed it for years. i'm secretly hoping it takes me despite my resistance. no matter the the temporal hurt it may cause me.